Tami

Seeing his hands were what got to me for some reason

maybe because, in life, he was never so proper

his skin was also not so blue

I met a girl that knew what happened to him while I was there

He had called her the night he died

She said, at another time, he told her he didn't care if he died while abusing his body the way he did...I wonder if he meant it

Its almost appropriate, in a way, that his visitation was on 4/20

painfully ironic, actually

I never knew he shoveled so many pills or drank so much

Its scary

I had to sit in the front row, staring at his body (thinking every second that I saw his chest move with breath) and watching people kneel at his casket

The funeral is tomorrow, and I don't know if I'll be able to stand looking at his face again.


Its not fair that my grandmother has outlived two of her sons and now her grandchild

Life can be so cruel

my new apartment is the bees' knees

Brandon peed in the corner of our friend austins' parents' bedroom when he was drunk


My cat, Nodin, has taken up licking wall sockets


haha

even though we have been super sick, i have really enjoyed this past week with brandon.

we hooked the cable up in the bedroom, have candles burning often and just relax together.

i was told recently by an ex that he had never met a girl that cared more about him than i did. besides feeling really awkward having our previous relationship brought up, all i thought about was that i hoped brandon felt the same way.

i actually feel more in love with him than i ever have with anyone else.

i guess thats just growing up.

we have been through alot in the 15 months we have been together, and i hope we will have alot more to go through over the years. together.

Im sick as fuck.

Brandon has pneumatic bronchitis and i think he got me sick too.

He is lucky enough to just lay in bed anf chill when he is sick

Me? I have a real job and have to drag myself out of bed, get dressed, face nasty weather and work. Where i will be furthered in misery. wonderful.

I swear to god I will pay thirty million dollars to the person who cures dermatographia.



I'm going insane.

The Lg Voyager Brandon got me makes me all kinds of horny lol



258-8090

The motor in Brandon's car blew on thursday. Our plans to move to Palm Springs are on hold for at most a month. We already talked to the landlady out there. Luckily, she will hold the condo for us at no extra charge.

I would really like to get together with some of you before I move to cali

anyone?

I've begun doing a half hour of pilates a day so I can have a nice belly when we go to the beach


after my first day, I already wanna give up lol